


Operation Matchmaker

by Neverever



Category: Marvel Adventures: Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 2015 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Flirting, M/M, Matchmaking, Mutual Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-07 08:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5449931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The supervillains of New York decide to set up Tony and Steve on a date in hopes that they'll start dating. The Avengers would like them to figure it out. But Tony and Steve think all the weird crime is just another day's work. What will it take for them to finally see the light?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inukagome15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inukagome15/gifts).



> Here's my Cap-Iron Man 2015 Holiday Exchange for Inukagome15! They asked for a story in which the Avengers' enemies decide to do something about the unresolved sexual tension between Tony and Steve. I really hope that this fic fits bill.
> 
> Big thanks to my beta, Armsplutonic.

Tony had a rare day free of Avenger responsibilities. So he was spending quality time with his suits in his workshop. The Avengers’ butler, Jarvis, brought him coffee, lunch and snacks unasked all day. No awful news, Pepper had no paperwork for him, Rhodey was still on for drinks and dinner that night, and he had no interruptions at all. He couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day really. 

His phone rang, and he might have thought too soon about a paperwork-free day. He answered Pepper’s call with the usual, “I’m working on it. I’ll have the prototype ready by Friday.”

“What? No. I’m calling about the article in Esquire. Good work,” she said.

“Really?” Tony scoured his memory for the article in question. He did so many. He was coming up empty. “What article was that?”

“The one about the Maria Stark Foundation’s work funding STEM education. You also gave your thoughts on the perfect date -- walking on the beach at sunset or going out to dinner.”

“Oh, that.” Now he remembered. “Didn’t like the line of questioning about my life as a celebrity bachelor, so I threw in some date-night cliches and ideas on where to meet the ideal person. Anything to end the interview.” 

“You’re all over the entertainment news and twitter. Especially your line about meeting the right person while locked in a closet.”

“Chalk that up as one of my many accomplishments. It’ll look great on my bio for when I win a Nobel prize or something. Wait -- didn’t Steve do one of those articles too? What did he say?”

“Hmmm. Strangely, Steve said similar things about the perfect date -- Steve goes to coffee shops?”

“Yep -- coffee shops, bakeries when he’s feeling adventurous. Would you believe it, just a like a regular person.”

Pepper chuckled. “Well, they put it in a sidebar, and the main article is all about the Avengers’ charity work. Maybe next time, though, try to resist the ‘click bait’?”

“Sure. Any news from the travel agency about the island I’d like to rent over New Year’s weekend?” He was definitely going to be anywhere but in New York. Somewhere hot and beachy. He should talk to Steve about taking some time off from the Avengers. Maybe he could talk Steve into coming along. Steve could use some beach time.

“Still working on it. They have a couple of leads.”

He studiously did not think about Steve on the beach. Especially a naked Steve on a beach all to themselves. He sternly reminded himself that Steve was a close friend and teammate who never showed the slightest bit of interest in dating any of the team. Like Tony, for example. Tony even overheard Steve gently turn down Tigra when she asked him about dating team members.

“Great. So no paperwork?”

“None whatsoever. Say ‘hi’ to Rhodey for me. And don’t talk to any reporters.”

Already thinking about armor schematics, Tony agreed and hung up. Hmm, had he actually said it would be romantic to be locked in a closet or stuck on an elevator? A stray thought about Steve and enclosed spaces floated through his mind. Nope. Not going to think about it. He promptly deleted the article from his thoughts.

If he’d had any idea how that article would be used by the criminal element of New York, Tony would have never done the interview.

Too bad hindsight always was 20/20.

~~~~~

Across Manhattan in a secret hangout (actually a bar) known only to New York supervillains, The Leader steepled his fingers and said, “Explain.” He narrowed his eyes as he studied his erstwhile partner in crime across the table.

Helmut Zemo, fresh from prison and out to reclaim his place in HYDRA, shrugged. “The plan is to set up Captain America and Iron Man on a date. Therefore triggering an epic romance. Resulting in them slacking off on fighting crime, since they’ll have better things to do.”

The Leader had thought Baron Zemo capable of far better than such a cockamamie plan. It was such a chore for him to be reduced to working with blatantly incompetent people with subpar intelligence. “What makes you think this could possibly work?”

“It wasn’t my idea, originally,” Zemo admittedly. “I heard from MODOK about the Enforcers -- small-time scammers. Captain America and Iron Man nabbed them while on what looked like a date. They were seen playing basketball and going out for burgers before busting that gang.”

“And that inspired you to set up our common enemies on a date?” The Leader had a headache developing as he despaired over the failures and delusions of the New York City supervillain community. How exactly Captain America and Iron Man dating was going to help him rule the world eluded him at the moment.

Zemo frowned. “I grant you -- I was doubtful at first. But I began thinking -- Iron Man is always there with Captain America, a matched set, fighting, rescuing each other.”

“Pah. Team mates, nothing more.”

“You’ve seen them in action, yes? Feels like you’re interrupting a date? It’s painful to watch. All words and no action.”

A memory of Iron Man and Captain America teaming up against him flashed across The Leader’s mind. Upon reflection, he admitted there might have some flirting involved. “Tell me more.”

Zemo pushed a stack of clippings from the Bugle gossip pages and a magazine with Tony Stark on the cover over to him. “Read these. The other supervillains and I --- we’re using this as a starting point for our plans.”

~~~~~

Tony rolled out of bed in time for an early afternoon coffee and an Avengers alarm. Steve cheerfully mentioned that they were going to fight a squid invasion in New Jersey. Some days it really didn’t pay to come out of the workshop.

“Where are we heading?” Tony asked as he suited up.

Steve pulled on his gloves. “Cape May, New Jersey. Team’s taking a quinjet.”

“Want the personal express ride?”

Steve smiled. “Yeah, it would help with the recon.”

A short flight later, they landed at the attack site among the emergency responders. They were immediately debriefed on the situation by the local police chief. No damage yet, just a giant squid waving its tentacles around.

“I’m seeing one giant squid,” Tony said. 

“Do you think that there could be more?” Steve asked.

He ran a scan. “The team should be arriving any minute now. And I’m seeing a few more squid offshore.” 

Cap tapped the edge of the shield as he pondered how to take out the squid. “We’ve fought giant squid before. But I don’t feel right attacking an innocent creature if it’s not harming civilians or destroying property.”

Before Tony could reply, the squid snatched him up in one tentacle. Then it nabbed Steve with another. The squid pushed back from the shore and swam rapidly what felt to be several miles down the shore. Steve hit his tentacle hard but the squid didn’t release him. Tony lifted a hand to target a repulsor blast. The squid dunked him in the ocean, ripped off his boots and gauntlets with a few firm pulls from its other tentacles and tossed them into the water, and unceremoniously dumped both Tony and Steve on the shore. Scrambling to their feet, they watched the squid slip from the view under the sea.

“What the --?” Tony exclaimed. He looked down at his feet still encased in the undersuit. 

“The comms aren’t working,” Steve said. 

“Saltwater must have shorted them out. A design flaw -- I can fix that.”

“I guess we’re hoofing it back to where we started.”

About a mile into their forced march, Tony muttered, “You’re enjoying this.” He was rapidly getting tired from walking in the armor.

Steve shrugged, “I could use the exercise.”

Tony nodded as they continued to slowly trudge along. “I enjoy beach walks but it’s really windy and raw today. Considering it’s the beginning of November and all.” He stopped and nearly dropped from fatigue.

“Want me to carry you?” Steve teased.

His heart skipped a beat at the thought of Steve picking him up in his arms. Tony would have to have tuck away that pleasant thought for more consideration. “Suit’s too heavy for even you to carry me. You’d need the Hulk.”

Storm kindly sent someone to pick them up as the rest of the team kept a watchful eye on the remaining giant squid. Steve helped Tony into the back of the pickup truck for the short ride to the quinjet. Tony looked over Steve who had pulled off his cowl and gloves and was finger combing his hair down. 

Sometimes Tony wondered if, in another life and place, some other Steve was considering possibly going on a date or just out for coffee with that other Tony. His Steve just didn’t swing that way, even if Tony wanted it more than anything else. Even more than he wanted cheap, responsibly sourced Iron Man parts.

“Okay, Tony?” Steve asked kindly.

“Just thinking about replacing the boots,” Tony said. “That’s all I’m thinking about. Working on the suit.”

“Peter suggested that we go out for sushi when we get back to the Tower.”

Tony groaned.

Back at the supervillain bar, The Leader held a debrief meeting about the failed attempt to use giant squid to foster a romantic encounter between the leaders of the Avengers. “Mistakes were made.”

“But -- but -- New Jersey!” The Wrecker blurted out. “No one goes to Jersey for the beaches!”

“And it was 3 o’clock in the afternoon -- not the romantic sunset stroll Stark outlined in that article,” Zemo added. 

The Leader replied, “It’s a beach. Near Cape May, which I am given to understand is a tourist destination known for its charm. I am more than certain that many people, including New Jersey citizens, love the beaches in New Jersey. And the sun decidedly does not set in the east, which takes an edge off a sunset stroll which would be demonstrably better in California.”

Zemo huffed. “Who has an idea for our next attempt?”

~~~~~

Three days later, the Avengers were called out to stop The Wrecking Crew wreaking havoc in Times Square. To his great relief, Bruce was left back in his lab. Ororo didn’t call Thor to change their date. Peter and Jan even were making plans to go to the movies once the supervillains were subdued. Steve, of course, wasn’t taking anything for granted.

While the rest of the team went off to round up the Crew, Tony noticed on his scans that there was some sort of anomaly in a nearby coffee shop. “Want to go exploring, Cap?”

“Sure,” Steve said. 

To Tony’s experienced eye, the coffee shop was a standard New York shop with comfy tables and chairs for the patrons, an order board describing the coffee drink offerings, and a long counter covered with coffee-making machines. His scans indicated that the anomaly was there, but he couldn’t see a supervillain or anything else weird. But as soon as Steve followed him into the shop, the doors slammed shut behind them. 

Steve went to the back to try the doors back there while Tony tugged on the doors up front, but nothing budged. Tony face palmed. It was the oldest trick in the book. And they walked right into the trap.

“So. We’re trapped in this coffee shop,” Steve announced as he came back from the back offices and store rooms.

“Right,” Tony replied. “You’ve tried every door back there?”

“Yes, twice.”

Tony aimed a repulsor at a window. “Guess there’s only one way out.”

Steve put a hand on Tony’s raised arm. “Stop. We shouldn’t cause any unnecessary property damage.”

Sighing, Tony dropped his arm. “Wait for the team?”

“Already on it,” Steve said. 

Tony half-listened to Steve rapping out commands over the comms as he wandered over to the counter and the coffee machines beyond. If they were going to wait for rescue due to Cap’s concern for personal property, he could at least get himself coffee. He took off the helmet, put it on the counter and hunted up some coffee.

“Coffee, black, extra large,” Steve ordered. 

“What?” Tony asked. “Oh, coming right up,” he added with a laugh. “Do you come here often?”

Pulling off the cowl, Steve smiled. “Not that often.”

“I’d remember someone like you,” Tony replied absently as he looked for the cups. “Coffee should be ready in a minute.” 

“I don’t know about that,” Steve replied. “Maybe I’d come around more often if all the baristas looked like you.”

Tony blinked a couple of times. He did not not just hear that. Steve, flirting. With him. Granted he started it. But still -- it was Steve, flirting, with him. The end times were upon them. “Wow, didn’t know you had it in you.”

“You started it,” Steve quipped back. 

Shrugging, Tony said, “Could be the coffee shop setting.” He stared at the coffee machine in hopes that it work faster.

“We shouldn’t be here much longer. Storm said that they were close to finishing up.”

“Unless we’re stuck here because of magic,” Tony said with a shudder.

“She’s smart -- she’ll call in Doctor Strange.”

“Here’s your coffee.” 

“You didn’t write my name on it.”

“What should I call you, customer I’ve never seen before?”

Steve cocked his head to the side as if he was thinking of something to say. Smiling, he leaned forward. “You could --”

There was a large rattle at the main entrance interrupting their conversation. Tony had never been so annoyed to see Thor. Steve turned to wave as Thor opened the door. 

“Greetings, comrades,” Thor said, thumping Steve on the back. “I have now freed you from a mischievous spell locking you here.”

“Nice to see you,” Steve said.

“I came early before I met the wondrous Ororo for our adventures tonight. She said that you were in a trap set by our enemies.”

“We should get going. After we wash up,” Steve said.

Tony shook his head. “I’ll cover it. Let’s check in with the team.” He left his business card with instructions to call Pepper Potts to cover the bill. 

~~~~~

“That was a terrible plan,” MODOK announced at the debriefing. “Trapping people in a coffee shop is not at all the same as a spontaneous meeting over coffee leading to romantic entanglements.”

“What would you do?” The Wrecker snapped. “We had them trapped. It’s not my fault that Thor interrupted my plan. It would have worked.” He added under his breath, “in time.”

MODOK rolled his eyes. “I don’t need some rag to tell me what the ideal situation is to make Captain America and Iron Man fall in love. I have devised a much better plan guaranteed for success. Strategic and direct.”

The Leader exchanged a look with Baron Zemo. “Proceed, MODOK.”

~~~~~

“Um, Tony? Do you know why we’re tied up?” Steve asked. 

Tony replied. “Ugh. Not today – I had plans.” He and Steve had been nabbed and stuffed into a van while going for coffee and bagels.

Now, they were tied to chairs back to back, clad only in their underwear. Not a particularly unusual situation. It’s not like Tony or Steve was a rookie at the superhero gig. Though Tony would have preferred it warmer if he had to be to be tied up. Much warmer actually.

“Plans?” Steve asked as if they were sitting in the Avengers living room watching television.

“You know, stuff, out and about, not tied to you naked in a dark, dank warehouse. Not that being tied to you is a bad thing. Or a great thing. Or a thing I think about, at all, ever.” Tony was now reduced to babbling. And shivering. 

Steve worked his wrists trying to loosen the rope around them. Ignoring what Tony said, he asked, “Do you want to wait for the team or spring ourselves?”

“It’s mid-November in an unheated warehouse probably near New York. Let’s get a move on.”

Working together, Steve and Tony made short work of the ropes tying them to the chairs and each other. Tony managed to locate their clothes and contact a cab for a ride home. He snuck a glance at Steve wriggling into his jeans. Maybe the inconvenience of the morning had its benefits.

~~~~~

First Loki ordered another round of drinks for the table. Then he observed, “Well, that was a colossal waste of time, MODOK.” MODOK glared at him.

Frowning, Zemo checked his tablet. “I have a list of plans here. Ultron said he could eliminate the human race then create two AIs in the image of Iron Man and Captain America and he can program them to date each other.”

“Pass. I like being alive to rule the world,” The Leader said. “Next.”

“Morgan Le Fay has an idea. Not sure if it’s better though.”

~~~~~

Steve thought his Thanksgiving would have more turkey and stuffing and football than jousting. Decked out in armor, he shifted his shield waiting his turn at the lists. His operating theory was that if he won the tournament, then everyone would get back in time for a good sit-down dinner. It would be a real shame to waste Jarvis’ excellent cooking. A boy ran up to him. “The Princess Tony wishes to see you, sir knight.”

So that’s what happened to Tony. “Lead on.”

Tony, attended by Ororo, Jan and Peter, was waiting at the bottom of the stairs to the grandstand. Steve did a double take. Tony was decked out in the finest red embroidered medieval gown with a gold circlet. “Hi,” he said.

“Doesn’t Tony look nice?” Jan said. “It’s a great color on him and a terrific fit.”

Steve knew that Tony was the handsomest man he had ever met. And smart and brave … he could go on. That dress, though, brought out a side Steve had not suspected. “Princess Tony?”

“Fits. Apparently I’m supposed to ask you to wear my ‘favor’ during the joust. Since you’re my champion and knight.” Tony handed over a nicely embroidered handkerchief to Steve. 

“Um, thank you.”

“I think you’re expected to be more thrilled about it than you are.”

“I want to get back to my turkey,” Steve admitted.

“Oh come on, how many times do you get to play dress up and attend a real medieval tournament?” Jan said eagerly. “No -- wait, don’t answer that.”

“You should kiss the Princess’ hand to thank him,” Ororo prompted. 

Steve stuffed the handkerchief into his armor. “Maybe later. I have a tournament to win.”

As he walked away, Peter and Ororo exchanged looks. “I tried. For the record.” she whispered.

Steve handily beat the knights he faced down in the jousting. The first couple of tilts were a bit rough until he got the hang of it. He even managed to put a little showmanship in -- riding past the grandstand and dipping his lance to Tony to the cheers of the crowd. The last challenger put up something of a fight, but Steve figured out a way to beat him to win the tournament. The crowd swept him towards the grandstand. Where he took his helmet off and knelt in front of Tony to receive a victor’s crown.

When he stood up, they were all back at the Tower just like they were before the joust. “Hey, where have you been all morning?” Bruce said, startled out of his nap on the couch.

“Playing dress-up!” Jan exclaimed. 

While Jan and Ororo told Bruce all about their adventure, Steve said quietly to Tony. “That had to be Morgan Le Fay’s work.”

“Yeah, but why? The whole thing was rather strange. She usually goes for the world domination thing, not whatever that was.”

“But you did look nice in the dress,” Steve offered.

Tony laughed. “Hmm, maybe with a slightly higher cut in the skirt, lower in the neckline, it would have looked even better – why are we even having a discussion about this? I’m filing this in the ‘The Incidents We Don’t Talk About’ file.”

“That’s because you didn’t get to keep the crown,” Steve observed at the risk of Tony throwing a throw pillow at him.

~~~~~

Morgan Le Fay glowered at her fellow supervillains. “It should have worked. I can’t imagine anything more romantic than a knight jousting for his lady’s favor.”

“These are more complicated and barbaric times,” Loki said sympathetically.

~~~~~

Over the next two weeks, Steve and Tony were shoved into a van and driven around New York City, trapped glued to each other in a sticky trap, had to fight large beavers around Niagara Falls and stop an invasion of tiny aliens on the observation desk of the Empire State Building on a beautiful starlit night. In the middle of scooping up the aliens, Steve briefly wondered what the starlight would look like mirrored in Tony’s brilliant blue eyes.

Admittedly though, Steve and Tony had a nice time at the Louvre. They were called in to stop an art theft at the museum -- Steve swore he saw Batroc leaping through the galleries. Tony talked Steve into staying longer to tour a little bit of the Museum. What Tony wouldn’t give to see Steve smile like that again.

Then things got a little strange. The Avengers were called out to stop The Wrecking Crew again. Tony dashed in to rescue Steve from a burning building when Steve ran in to save civilians and he didn’t come out. As they walked out of the building, Tony swore he heard someone shout, “Oh, come on! Just kiss already, dammit!”

“Did you hear that?” he said, turning to Steve.

But Steve was having an involved conversation over the comms with Wolverine about where they should all go for pizza and beer once showered and cleaned-up. “Tony, you don’t like Ruski’s Bar, right? That’s the place where your shoes stuck to the floor?” Tony gave a full body shudder. “It’s no go on Ruski’s. How about Fabio’s -- that place with the wings?”

Pushed into the corner by Steve’s bulk, not an unpleasant feeling, Tony admitted, Tony pondered over his beer. There was something weird with all this sudden supervillain activity. Maybe he should try to get to the bottom of it.

~~~~~

Another day and another crime. 

Spider-man was trying to trip Whirlwind with his webbing when Cap and Iron Man ran past, trading jokes. 

“What’s wrong with them? How do they expect us to fight them when they flirt like that?” Whirlwind whined.

“You have no idea, buddy. I have to live with it everyday, ” Spider-man said. Then he laid out Whirlwind with a punch.

~~~~~

Steve brought bowls of popcorn into the living room for movie night. The team didn’t get many chances to just hang out together, especially given Jan’s extensive social calendar, so this was a real treat. Everyone was already sprawled out on the couches and chairs, with Logan parked on the floor with a 30-pack of beer handy. Ororo and Thor sat together on one couch. Bruce was tapping away on his laptop. Jan, Tigra and Peter were arguing about which movies to watch. 

Tony waved him over and pointed to spot on the couch he’d saved for Steve. No one would have dared sit there anyway, having learned their lesson already on other occasions. But Tony still made a big deal about it. Steve handed out the bowls and gave the red and gold one to Tony.

Jan won the Christmas movie argument and popped in “Love Actually” to a chorus of groans from Peter. Steve didn’t much care what they watched as long as it wasn’t “It’s A Wonderful Life.”

Tony nudged him with his elbow and chuckled. Steve smiled back. He had been feeling a bit guilty, no -- actually a lot guilty, that he had been enjoying spending more time with Tony with the recent crime wave. He should never, ever look forward to crimes or alien invasions or mind control. But at least partnering up with Tony made everything a lot more bearable. 

And if Steve was able to be completely honest with himself, his stomach felt full of butterflies when Tony smiled at him, his skin electric when Tony brushed his hand. He could listen all day to Tony complain about water in his armor or ramble on about his latest inventions. But Steve didn’t have anything to offer Tony. He sort of had a job (leading the Avengers), sort of a place to live (the Tower) and had enough money to treat Tony to a dinner at a mid-range restaurant and a non-IMAX movie. Tony was so out of his league that hoping for maybe coffee together as more than friends was a pointless exercise. So Steve was somewhat content just to be Tony’s good friend. 

The alarm rang. Steve jumped to his feet and nearly shouted “Avengers Assemble” when Tony said loudly, “No!”

“No?” Steve asked confused.

“No.” Tony groaned. “I’m not leaving this couch. Not now and not any time soon. You all go without me. Report back.” He snuggled further into the couch. “And Steve’s not going either.”

“Tony --” Steve started.

“Every call we’ve answered -- we’ve been tied up, dressed up in medieval clothes, sprayed in glue. No. Not interested.”

Ororo quickly agreed. “Steve, Tony’s right. You both should take a break. We can handle it. And if we run into trouble we can call in the Fantastic Four or the other New York heroes.”

“If you’re sure --” Steve started.

“We’re sure!” Tigra piped up. 

Steve was surprised at how fast the team hustled out of the living room talking among themselves. Why didn’t they move that fast in his training exercises? 

“Sit down, Steve.” Tony tugged on his shirt. “We’ll find a better movie to watch. Or how about a Star Trek marathon? Let’s do that.”

He was reluctant at first because he really should be with the team since he was perfectly healthy and not occupied with other supervillains. But halfway through the first episode of Star Trek, he realized the great benefit of watching television with Tony alone, just them all alone in the Tower watching a show they both really liked. Not even thinking about it, he slung his arm over the back of the couch behind Tony. And he didn’t totally imagine that Tony shifted to sit closer to him.

“Hey, did I tell about my plan to rent an island for New Year’s Eve?” Tony asked after the first couple of episodes.

“Really?”

“Private, tropical, lots of beach, no supervillains.” 

Tony talked about the island while Steve had thoughts of Tony sunbathing in a wisp of a bathing suit. Boy, he hoped Tony couldn’t see the blush on his face. Maybe Tony might ask him to come along. His heart beat faster at the idea. But Steve usually covered for the other team members who had holiday plans, and he couldn’t ask them to change their plans for him. So no beach for him.

About two hours later, the tired and dirty team slunk back into the Tower and passed by the living room on the way to their rooms. 

Steve asked, “What happened?”

“Locked in a closet,” Tigra said, with a full body shudder.

Tony nudged Steve. “That could have been us, just sayin’.”

“And The Leader wants to know what he has to do to get you two to show up at a crime scene,” Peter said. “Here’s the note he left for you complaining that you didn’t come.”

Steve exchanged a look with Tony. “Okay.”

Tony pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. "It’s weird, Steve. Weird.”

~~~~~

“I can’t believe Captain America and Iron Man didn’t show up to stop me and fall into my perfect trap,” The Leader complained. 

Loki and Zemo rolled their eyes. Loki pushed more beer over to The Leader. Zemo reached for his sheaf of notes and collected magazine articles. “Back to the drawing board.”

“Nay, colleagues, stay your work. I have a simple but effective plan that will gain us our prize,” Loki said.

“As long as it doesn’t involve glue or a van kidnapping, I say let him try it. He’s got the resume for it.” Zemo said to The Leader.

“Fine, whatever, go ahead.” The Leader pouted.

~~~~~

Tony nursed his ginger ale waiting for the donors to the Maria Stark Foundation to show up. Pepper had set up this meeting, reminding him that this was a very important fundraising meeting for the Foundation’s science education initiatives. He checked his phone to see if he had the right place and time. He had it right -- Per Se, 7:30, Friday, table reserved for Tony Stark and party.

He glanced up and did a double take. Some blessed angel had convinced Steve to wear a tailored designer suit and get a modern haircut for once. Had to be Jan. He owed her a much better Christmas gift now. Some of his fellow diners appeared to be impressed by Steve’s gorgeousness, even though he marred the overall stunning effect with the sheepish look on his face. 

“Hey, Tony, didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I’m meeting some donors.” He had to stop staring at Steve at some point. Eventually. Why didn’t he wear that suit around the Tower? 

“Strange. I’m supposed to be meeting the Director of the Maria Stark Foundation and a big donor. Pepper told me to come and Jarvis showed up with this suit this morning.”

“Where’s your table?”

“The maitre’d told me that this is my table.” Steve pointed to Tony’s table.

“Pull up a chair.” Tony sighed. Par for the course, he guessed, given all the oddness since October. “I suspect that you are, in fact, my guest.”

Tony liked coming to Per Se. He liked the food, the ambience and usually the company. And even though he was sitting across the table from the hottest, sweetest guy in the world, the whole set-up to the evening was nagging at him like a pebble in his shoe. Someone had set this up. His appetizer turned to sawdust in his mouth the more he thought about it.

“This is a trap,” he announced, scanning the room for possible enemies.

“What?” Steve asked.

“Aren’t you the least bit worried about this? Someone mysteriously sets up a blind meeting for us at a great restaurant, engineers it so that you are in a suit --”

“It was Pepper,” Steve said. “She called to remind me and asked if I needed a suit. I think Jan had something to do with it. She didn’t think I should wear my jeans and leather jacket when I mentioned the restaurant.”

“How do you know that it was Pepper who called? Doesn’t this whole thing feel like every other set-up we’ve run into?”

Steve tapped the table. “I see what you’re saying, but I recognize Pepper’s voice, we often meet donors for the Foundation, and the other times usually involve fighting supervillains --”

“And ending up in a glue trap, or jousting, or being kidnapped by giant squid. And it’s always us. Not the team.”

“We’re the team leaders. That’s what I would do.” Steve reached for another roll. “Take out the leaders.”

“Why aren’t you the least bit suspicious about any of this?”

“I don’t know, Tony. I’ve noticed the pattern too. But somehow I don’t think that Zemo or The Leader or any of our enemies would set us up on a date at Per Se. If we were called to a warehouse break-in, I’d buy that.” 

Tony nearly knocked over his ginger ale. “Do you say ‘date’?”

Steve froze. “Um, yes? A slip of the tongue. I didn’t mean -- oh, god.”

Now really irked and getting angrier by the second, Tony carefully balled up his napkin and threw it on the table. “Well, that just tears it. Did you set this up, Steve? To butter me up for something? And why the hell are you taking back ‘date’ now? You said it.”

“I didn’t set this up. Pepper did or someone at the Foundation. I don’t have to butter you up for anything. Please, please let the ‘date’ thing drop. I shouldn’t have said it.”

“Why? Because you would never date me? Is the idea of going on a date with me that bad?”

The tips of Steve’s ears turned red and he opened and shut his mouth a couple of times. “I don’t know what to say --”

Tony stood up and hissed at Steve. “I’m going back to the Tower, and I’m going to get to the bottom of this whole mess.” He stomped out of the restaurant.

The next day, Zemo threw that morning’s edition of the Bugle at Loki and pointed out an item on the gossip page -- Stark Walks Out On Date With Captain America. 

“You’ve made it worse,” Zemo said.

“Was it? Is that what you are saying?” Loki said, elegantly arching his eyebrow. “The problem with the lot of you is your collective impatience to see your plans to the end. I never promised that our problem would be resolved in one night, only that I will resolve it for you. You will see.”

“Your plan was a colossal failure. None of us made them fight,” The Leader observed.

“Fah.” Loke waved his hand. “Such little faith. I look forward to collecting the debts owed to me when my plan comes to fruition.”

~~~~~

Upon reflection, Tony shouldn’t have blown up at Steve. He felt calmer in the morning and after a few cups of coffee. He could face Steve and talk about things rationally. He felt that way until he talked to Pepper and Jarvis, who both denied all knowledge of the mysterious dinner at Per Se. 

“Although I hope you enjoyed your dinner with Steve,” Pepper added, a trace of hope in her voice. “You both don’t get to spend much time together outside the team as, um, friends.”

Tony thanked her and said that he would be in his workshop. He buried himself so thoroughly in work that he successfully avoided talking to any of his teammates for a couple of days. Jarvis nicely left food at the door and Tony caught some sleep on the cot he had in the corner of the workshop.

Maybe supervillains were just being supervillains. And he was just imagining that he and Steve were being targeted. But hearing Steve apply the word ‘date’ to that weird restaurant thing -- well, that was so unexpected that Tony had suddenly got his hopes up. Then Steve dashed it all. He could be friends with Steve but he didn’t need his face rubbed into it that Steve wasn’t going to feel about him the way he felt about Steve.

He heard knocking on the workshop doors. “Hey, Tony?” Jan asked. “We’re trimming the tree and, um, would you like to join us?”

Tony’s first instinct was to say no, leave him alone. But that was ridiculous. He’d have to face the team eventually. So he put his best face on and headed up to the living room.

The team filled the living room as they worked on unpacking and putting ornaments on the tree. Boxes covered all the couches and tables, except for where Logan was sitting with a beer in hand. He’d already made his contribution to the tree, a maple leaf. The tree was still mostly bare as Jan was directing Operation Tree Decorating and clearly had ideas of where the mishmash of ornaments were going. 

Jan handed Tony a styrofoam cut-out of Iron Man covered in paint and glitter. “Find a place to put this that’s not next to a Cap ornament.”

Talking about Cap, Tony couldn’t find the 6-foot-2 inch super soldier. “Where’s Steve?”

“He’s got a Toys-for-Tots event over at Rockefeller Center,” Tigra said. “He should be back in a hour or two.”

After putting up a couple more ornaments, Tony realized that he missed Steve. Steve always brought something special to team events. If he were there, he’d be making ornaments to replace the ones dropped by Tigra and Peter. It didn’t help that Logan had managed to make a drinking game of it. Thor and Ororo were exchanging opinions on lightning and thunder over by the window. Bruce kept shooing cats out of the room in between untangling garland and arguing with Hank over a recent article in Nature.

Tony followed Jan over to the kitchen to get a snack and a drink. She rubbed his back. “Feeling better?” she asked.

“Do you know anything about that dinner thing at Per Se?”

Jan laughed. “Oh, that disaster! Steve didn’t even know what Per Se was until I told him. And if I knew he was going to meet you there, I wouldn’t have bothered with finding him clothes. I would have sent him there in his birthday suit with strategically placed ribbons and bows,” Jan said. 

“But don’t you think --”

“Supervillains mess with us all the time, honestly.” Jan assembled a tray of cheese, crackers, dips and cookies. “Take this out to the troops.”

When he got back to the living room, Steve was arriving. “We’re doing the tree now?” he asked as he took his coat off. Tony always like how Steve looked in his long wool winter coat and those leather gloves. 

Tigra shrugged. “Jan told us that we needed to get it up this weekend because of all the charity events we have coming up.”

“Want something to eat?” Tony said, showing Steve the tray like a peace offering.

Steve beamed one of his most dazzling beatific smiles at him. Tony blinked a couple of time, suddenly unable to focus on what exactly he was doing. “Sure.” Steve reached out for a couple of cookies. He carefully put his coat on a chair and headed towards the tree.

Suddenly, Jan poked Hank. “Come on -- I just remembered we have to go shopping. I forgot to pick up presents for a few people.”

“We could order online,” Hank said as Jan pushed him to his feet.

“Not as fun. Plus I like seeing what I’m buying for presents. See you all later for dinner,” Jan said over her shoulder.

“Indeed. That is a very good idea,” Thor said. “We could try your ideas, dear Ororo, about thunder and snow in a nearby field.”

“Practical application would be illuminating,” Ororo agreed.

Within ten minutes, Peter remembered a party he had to attend, Tigra needed to do a grocery run, Logan went to a bar to watch a hockey game he claimed wasn’t on television, and Bruce had to do something somewhere that wasn’t the Avengers living room. Tony and Steve were left to decorate the tree themselves.

“We could protest,” Tony pointed out. “This was Jan’s idea after all. Or we could tough it out and do the tree then lord it over the team for the next few days because they bailed. Unless you have a training exercise or workout you forgot to do.”

“Do you have somewhere else you’d like to be?” Steve asked. He swallowed when he asked and looked down at the ground while waiting for Tony.

Tony paused. He had the strange feeling that this was the most serious question he’d been asked in a while. “No, Steve, I don’t want to be anywhere but here.”

They tackled decorating the tree like they were facing an alien invasion. Half an hour into the job after a lot of jokes and laughing and playing around with the ornaments, Tony said, “I owe you a dinner at Per Se, considering I might have ruined your night.”

“You probably saved us from being turned into frogs or something like that.”

“Jan thinks that the supervillains are just messing with us. Just like you what you said.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But I’d prefer to not spend the holidays as a frog,” Steve stated. “Come to think about it, what are the supervillains trying to do? They haven’t been all that successful with it.”

Tony was buried deep in the tree fixing the lights, which were badly placed in his opinion. “It’s weird whatever they’re doing. It’s like they’re recreating bad date ideas from advice columns as crimes. ”

“Or that Esquire article you did.”

Tony stopped fiddling with the light strings. “You read that?”

“I might have when I was waiting somewhere,” Steve said vaguely. “I did one, too. Interviewer seemed overly concerned about my dating life.”

Tony laughed. “Me too. I suggested the usual things -- walk on the beach, and so on.”

“Like after a giant squid attack?”

“Ugh. Again, Steve, remember the ‘The Incidents We Don’t Talk About’ file?”

“You were serious about dinner at Per Se, though?”

“Sure. It’s a date.” 

Tony couldn’t believe he said that. He fell back on the floor and stared up through the branches and repositioned lights, calculating the odds for a supervillain attack or disappearing into a black hole in the next five minutes. The odds were not in his favor. He closed his eyes, swallowed down his anxiety and waited for Steve to say something so he could pass it off as a joke.

“A ‘date’ date or just the usual buddy date?” Steve asked.

Well, damn, Steve just asked the worst thing. There was no good answer. “Um, you know -- here’s the thing -- Per Se might be too intimidating for a ‘date’ date or a buddy date.”

Steve nudged Tony with his foot. “What about grabbing a burger? Would that be too intimidating for a ‘date’ date or a buddy date?”

“I owe you a dinner at one of the best restaurants in New York, there’s no comparison to that burger dive you love so much.” Tony breathed easier. He could do this, he could talk his way out of this, and Steve and he could never talk about this again. 

But Steve nudged a little harder with his foot. “We’re not trying to outsmart a supervillain here, Tony. And this isn’t poker either. I’m not playing games here.”

Tony groaned and crawled out from under the tree. He sat up and looked up at Steve. “I’ll show you my cards if you’ll show me yours.”

Steve sat down next to Tony. “Did you mean a ‘date’ date or a buddy date? Because you were upset when I used that word a couple of days ago. So I think that means something to you and I don’t know what that is.”

“Date date. As in would you --” Tony pointed to Steve. “go on a date with me?” He pointed to himself. Then he sort of half smiled, waiting for Steve to turn him down.

“Seriously, you’d go on a date with me?” Steve asked.

“Wait -- were you worried that I wouldn’t go on a date with you? Dammit, Steve, you’re like the most eligible guy in the world. Everyone wants to date you. I thought you just didn’t date people on the team. I heard you turn Tigra down saying that. That and the whole you’re-probably-straight thing.”

Steve sighed. “That was months ago, Tony, when she first joined the team. How I feel about you -- that’s been there for a while and growing stronger. And while I’m still fitting in with the present time, I also know I’m not likely to be go around wearing a billboard advertising who I’m interested in.”

“It helps, you know, if you said something about being interested in guys. A little advertising goes a long way, Steve. I might have asked earlier.”

Steve nodded and smiled ruefully. “Even I did say something, I didn’t know if you’d ever be interested in me. I don’t have much to offer --”

“You’re going to kill me.” Tony reached out to grab Steve’s hand. “I’m interested, completely and utterly interested. I don’t care if you can’t support me in the lifestyle I’ve come to enjoy. You draw these funny little doodles for me -- that’s all I need, not someone who can buy me a Ferrari.”

“Could we go for coffee sometime? Instead of waiting for the restaurant date?”

“How about we go now?”

Steve smiled broadly. “But the tree --”

“Eh, we can finish it later when we get around to it. But right now, I’ve got a date with a great guy and I don’t want to be late.”

As they returned back to the Tower, full of coffee and deliriously happy with how the day turned out, Tony felt brave to enough to pull Steve out of the busy sidewalk into the shelter of the Tower’s street entrance. He looked at Steve, bathed in the colored lights of the holiday decorations. “I think you have whipped cream on your nose,” he said.

“Really? But I had that cappuccino an hour ago.” Steve rubbed his nose.

“Okay, that went right over your head. You need some practice at this, Rogers.” Tony licked his lips and leaned forward. “Work with me here.” He pressed his lips to Steve’s for a quick kiss. “See, no whipped cream now.”

Steve closed his eyes. “Wow,” he whispered. “Better than I imagined.”

Tony took that as a challenge. “I can do even better.” 

He cupped the back of Steve’s head to draw him close. He smiled at seeing Steve close his eyes again. Tony kissed him again. Steve, ready for it, pressed back, allowing his tongue to sweep across Tony’s lips. His fingers slid into Tony’s hair. Tony felt filled with warmth and happiness reveling in the most perfect moment of being kissed and kissing back someone he loved and cared for. And Steve was a quick learner. Gosh, Steve was so damn perfect. 

“Want to take this inside?” Tony suggested when they broke off the kiss.

Steve tangled his fingers in Tony’s. “Yes, of course.”

“And we’re going to ignore the team if they think we’re going to help with the tree.”

Steve laughed, Tony joined in, and they laughed until tears dotted the corners of Tony’s eyes. Then Steve attempted to kiss away the tears. Of course, Tony had to return the favor. 

Perfect date, couldn’t have asked for more, Tony thought as they waited for the elevator. A squeeze from Steve’s hand and a kiss on the back of his neck told him all he needed to know about how Steve felt too.

~~~~~

Loki strode like a conquering king into the the supervillain bar. He marched through the crowd right up to Zemo and The Leader’s table. He threw down the latest Bugle tabloid, opened right to the picture of Captain America and Iron Man kissing during a date at a pizza place. “You owe me. And I will collect that debt. In time.”

“How did you do it?” Zemo asked.

“Experience and knowledge of human nature. All I had to do was create a situation for a fight and the need for reconciliation. Our targets did the rest. I have no idea why you didn’t see that.”

Loki turned and haughtily surveyed the room full of supervillains and sniffed loudly. “Amateurs.” He swept imperiously past them all in shock and amazement on his way out the door. It was nice to win, he reflected, even if the competition was poor.

~~~~~

In a quiet corner of a Manhattan Starbucks, Thor approached the figure hunched over with a coffee whose face was covered by a black and green hoodie. He dropped down on the chair, which groaned under his weight. Then he handed over a small canvas bag. “Loki, brother, I thank you for your valuable service.”

“Hmm, I should charge you more,” Loki replied as he opened the bag to count the coins. “I had to deal with idiots -- your idiots and their enemies.”

Thor smiled fondly as he showed Loki pictures of Steve and Tony on a beach looking like they were on vacation somewhere. He was particularly proud of the picture of Steve and Tony hand in hand. “My friends the noble Avengers and I could not stand it much longer either. If your erstwhile allies were bothered by what they saw on the field of battle, imagine facing it every day -- in the kitchen, in the gym, watching the television, everywhere.” He sighed. “But because of your noble deed, now our great crisis has passed and there is a great peace in the Tower.”

Loki sipped his coffee. Thor did have a point -- Steve and Tony did make a nice couple. He handed back the sack of coins. “In the spirit of the Midgard holiday season --” he offered.

Thor beamed one of his brightest smiles at Loki. “That’s the idea, brother!” he said, thumping Loki on the back.

“Harrumph. Don’t think that this will ever happen again.”


End file.
